The Malleable Light

My new meditation schedule is twice a day and I am hoping to see some results. Hopefully by writing about results will help to solidify their reality and as always give me data to look back on after my brain has long forgotten.

I went to bed around 10:30 PM last night and meditated in a seated position for about 15 minutes, became tired, switched to a laying position and fell asleep.

I woke up around 5:50 AM feeling tired. I got up and went to the restroom and came back to bed and I seemed to be less tired after getting up and walking for a few minutes. I put on my headphones and started listening to Brain Sync – Brain Massage and began to meditate by running the mantra ah-lum-baa-dee-dum – ah-lum-bar-dee-dum through my head. The goal was and is always to eliminate thoughts, and I know this intellectually, however knowing and doing (or should I say not doing) are two different things.

The Brain Sync track starts off with background binaural beats, soothing music and a river and then as the track progresses the music gets softer and softer until it’s completely gone, leaving only the sound of water.  The meditation technique and this track seemed to work well together. The music got softer and so did the complexity of my mantra until all that was left was the sound of flowing water and a faint remnant of my mantra, as if my mind became something separate from me.  A few moments later I let the mantra go and latched onto my breathing which was getting more and more shallow. When thoughts found their way in I simply observed them and went back to focusing on breathing.

Before long I noticed that my awareness was slipping away and I had to keep that from happening by quickly directing my focus back to breathing. Every time I would come back to breathing I would have a spinning falling sensation and a faint tingling throughout my body. Each time I would pull my awareness back the sensations would get stronger. I would have just let myself fallen asleep if it had not been for several meetings at work this morning. Normally, at this stage if fall asleep, I will hit strong vibrations and have a full blown OOBE.

I finally called it quits  at 7:15 AM to prepare for meetings.

David Mathis Meditation, Miscellaneous, Progress Brainsync, Meditation, Progress, Techniques

I have been reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now and in doing so I have learned some new things and reinforced others. While riding my bike today I was putting Tolle’s words into action and became intensely aware of the unconscious state that everyone was in while driving, walking in out of stores, etc. Even fellow cyclists were somewhere else while they listened to their mp3 players.

I tried my best not to analyze the thoughts that entered my mind during the ride. My goal was to stay present and to simply observe everything around me including myself and my own thoughts and emotions without becoming attached to any of it. It was a riding meditation.

Several thoughts ran through my mind as I rode. I thought to myself: “Why aren’t people talking to one another?”, “Why aren’t they acknowledging each others existence?”, “Where are these people going in such a hurry?”, “What will they do once they get there?”, and “What happens after they do whatever it is that had them in such a hurry?”. Maybe they will start the entire cycle over again? It all seemed so surreal to me when I was in the now. The roar of the cars seemed be more like chaos and I could actually feel the insanity of the peoples uncontrolled thoughts dragging me into unconsciousness.

When I arrived back home I turned my analytical mind back on to process what I had experienced on a physical level. People in general didn’t seem to be aware of the present, anymore more so than when they are sleeping. They seemed to be walking and driving around in a sleep state. Consciousness manifested for the experience but the experience never happening because their minds were focused on the nonexistent future and past.

I thought back to my childhood for the specific purpose of trying to understand this unconscious state they were in. Before I started school, time meant nothing to me. I didn’t think about the past or the future, only the present. I still learned new things and functioned in society much like I do now only I was closer to the source of life as a child, the root consciousness that I feel we all come from and are still connected too. I rarely see a child that’s stressed out or on blood pressure medicines. Children are generally joyful and compassionate for others and live in the moment. What a wonderful idea.

This brings me to me new year’s resolution. Starting now I resolve to be more like a child and to live more in the present, only drawing from the past and the future when absolutely necessary while living this physical life that is trapped in time and space.

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually dont use it at all. It uses you. — Eckhart Tolle

David Mathis Books & Media, Meditation, Miscellaneous Consciousness, Eckhart Tolle, Life, Now, The Power of Now, Thought Provoking, Thoughts, Time

I’m not sure what this is considered exactly. It seems to be a dream about projecting. I started out in the sky, realizing I was projecting. I look up and focus by finding orion. It’s the way things usually work when I project. Orion has always been the way that I focus, even in waking life, since I was a kid basically. I focused on Orion, and I said out loud that I wanted to go wherever it is that I need to go to learn whatever it is that I’m needing to learn.

I ended up in a three room shack. I walked in, and the first room has a gray and yellow chair. I walked through, basically the whole place is gray. In the last room, is a closed door. I was wondering what in the world am I going to learn here. So I started to leave by going through the wall, except I couldn’t get through it. The wall was solid. The door was locked.

A guy came in through the locked door, and had a knife. I had to defend myself by stabbing him with a fork. There was a LOT of blood, but when I left I didn’t have any stab wounds, even though he had stabbed me a lot more than the few stabs I’d gotten in on him. Eventually, I was able to go out the door, and floated up, and continued projecting. I can’t remember now what I did though. I just remember refocusing on Orion and attempting to go somewhere else.

Renate Moody Miscellaneous Astral Projection, Dreams, Lucid Dreams

Perhaps it’s a change in weather but I have been having headaches over the past few days. To combat the headaches I have been going to bed earlier and falling asleep while listening to “Brain Sync – Sound Healing”. This track as well as many other Brain Sync tracks use binaural beats and literally wipe headaches out in minutes. In addition to helping with headaches I have noticed some strange phenomena on the edge or wakefulness and sleep.

Sunday night while falling asleep two farmers faded into my mind’s eye and then faded out quickly within a few seconds. Monday night I noticed that right as I was falling asleep I started hearing 100s of voices for a few seconds. The odd part about both was that the images and the audio seemed to be linked to the brain sync track I was listening to. I say this because as they both faded out and my waking conscious returned, the images and audio seemed to morph into the track I was listening to. It’s hard to explain how an image transitions into audio, but it did, and it made perfect sense.

I am not sure what this means but it’s a trip and I am glad I that I experienced it.  It would be interesting to hear if others have had similar experiences.

David Mathis Miscellaneous Brain Sync, Brainsync, Dreams, Hypnagogic Hallucinations

I haven’t had any lucid dreams to speak of, lately, but I’ve been using the sleep timers with an ipod, so I’m hoping to have something to report soon. I’ve had interesting dreams, but nothing I’ve been able to wake up in and control.

Last night, I had a dream that I feel I should have become lucid in. My consciousness was definitely working on waking me. I dream a lot about wrecking and water, so being in a car around water should be a symbol to wake me. Last night, I dreamed I was in a car with a friend of mine. We were driving downtown Chattanooga to go somewhere. It was raining, but not much and then I notice a huge storm in the background.

We neared a bridge and waves come tumbling after us. Then the dream forwards to after the worst of the waves were over. We weren’t in the car anymore, but we were carrying small pieces of metal. Traffic was backed up. On one side, totally stopped and no one was allowed to travel. We needed on the other side anyway. So we take our pieces of metal, throw them across the road and they popped up into our car.

Pretty interesting dream. I tried to go back into it, but wasn’t able to.  This morning I woke up and wrote about the attempt though. I’m posting that here as well, in lieu of a lucid dream to write about.

Malleable Light

Renate Moody Dreams, Lucid Dreams, Miscellaneous, Progress Lucid dreaming attempt, poetry

Today I visited Auditorium Shores here in Austin so that my daughter could play in  the orchestrated water fountains that they have there out by the pond. I had been thinking about existence after responding to Dean’s intro post on here earlier and found myself thinking about the past.

When I lived out in the country in Georgia I would often sit outside on the porch at night and stare off into the night sky and I could literally see the Milky Way galaxy spanning from horizon to horizon.  Back then I always sensed that the stars were aware of me and I them and that we shared a connection to each other.  When I looked at the clouds today I got that same feeling of being connected to the sky. It was as if the clouds were speaking to me on some fundamental level that really can’t be communicated at this time.

This used to puzzle and confuse me but as I have gotten older I have realized that things are not what they seem and that perhaps consciousness is not isolated to living animate objects only. It’s only been very recent that I actually considered the possibility that I am both locally conscious and universally conscious at the same time which would explain the connection I felt with the stars at night.

I hope you find the photograph that I took above to be as breathtaking as I did. It’s  a shame I didn’t have equipment to capture those starry nights that provoked so many deep thoughts.

David Mathis Miscellaneous Awakening, Consciousness, Life, Thought Provoking, Thoughts